


Reading Glasses

by then00breturns1101



Series: DnD-nanigans [3]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work
Genre: Angst, Gen, Guess what it's more post-fight angst baybey, Trauma, sometimes you gotta stick your friends together until they have a Chat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26037520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/then00breturns1101/pseuds/then00breturns1101
Summary: Biggs knows Damakos and Portia need to talk about the Fight. What better way to do that than send them on a fool's errand together?
Relationships: Portia High-Hill & Damakos
Series: DnD-nanigans [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886455
Kudos: 6





	Reading Glasses

**Author's Note:**

> am i done making portia content? never

As they finished exploring the temple, Portia now walking on her own two feet again, the tension in the halls was palpable. Most of the party kept some distance between them and the halfling, save Biggs and Gaster. Gaster stayed pretty close behind her, even with Grillby trying to keep himself somewhat between them. Biggs was walking beside her, doing his damn best to keep everyone’s spirits up. On the other side of him was Damakos. The tiefling’s gaze was downcast and his thoughts clearly occupied.

As they found more rooms, Gaster and Grillby eventually passed ahead, leaving Biggs, Damakos, and Portia to bring up the rear. The tension only thickened as there were fewer things to distract from the elephant in the room.

Or rather, the barbarian.

Luckily for the two on either side of Biggs, he would not stand for intra-group tension. It always did nothing good and only ended up festering and eating away at everyone. He was going to get them to talk about what had just happened, one way or another.

“Oh, scale-mites! I just remembered!” he exclaimed in a voice that was probably louder than necessary. “I think I forgot my… reading glasses! In the last room! Would you two go get them for me? I have to… to keep an eye on Tiny and Akai. I’m sure it would be nice without everyone else distracting you.”

With that, he ran off, leaving the stunned Portia and Damakos behind before they could respond.

Damakos glanced furtively at Portia, and she looked up at him.

They both knew it had to have been a blatant lie. If Biggs had really forgotten something, he would’ve gone off to get it himself. Leaving Portia and Damakos on their own was nothing more than a transparent way to force them to interact, instead of dodging each other like they had been for the past half-hour.

It was difficult for them to even look each other in the eye after what had happened. After Portia had attacked Gaster, it was only thanks to Damakos’ quick thinking and actions that she didn’t kill him. Even then, it was a close call, and she had hurt Damakos as well. The regret of her actions wasn’t leaving her anytime soon.

Damakos, too, still had his mind occupied by the fight. He had never had to attack a teammate before, and the last thing he wanted was for them to get hurt—Chunky’s death still weighed heavy on him, and not a day went by where he didn’t think about everything he could have done to prevent it.

Even so, he would have killed Portia if necessary. Even if he hadn’t known she’d be healed—if she had awoken still enraged, he wouldn’t have hesitated to strike her down again.

Permanently.

Breaking the silence, Portia sighed and turned around. “Well, let’s not keep him waiting too long, then.”

She looked expectantly at Damakos, and he gave in and turned around. “Right. Yeah.”

They began walking, with only the sound of their breathing and footsteps to fill the quiet. Damakos still kept his eyes averted and as much distance as he could. A part of him was… somewhat remorseful of his behavior, but he couldn’t help the fear and distrust that had pervaded his chest and chilled him to the bone. Portia, his teammate, who fought for her friends and was well-liked by the party, who was second only to Biggs in terms of loyalty and caring, had almost murdered those she swore to protect.

And he had _no way_ of knowing if it would happen again.

Biggs trusted her, and Damakos was inclined to trust his judgement in turn, but the thought still gnawed at him.

Portia, on her end, could tell that the tiefling was uneasy. The anxiety practically rolled off him in waves, it was so strong. As much as she wished she could just… tell him to turn back, go with the others, that she’d be fine getting the glasses on her own… she knew deep down that Biggs was right. They needed to talk. Any teamwork between them would be hampered if they didn’t clear the air, and that had the potential to be truly dangerous. So, she broke the silence once again.

“…Biggs was right,” she spoke, echoing her previous thoughts. “We… we need to talk about what happened.”

Damakos nodded. No use avoiding it. Threats still had the potential to be around every corner, and they needed to make sure things were okay. Or at least… as close to “okay” as they could be. He sat down against the wall and Portia sat down across from him.

She tried not to show the relief at finally sitting down again. Everything about that fight had drained her, and even walking for a few minutes made pain jolt through her with each step.

“I know I already said it, but… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything that happened. And I’m… _very_ grateful that you were there, and that you… stopped me. From doing more.”

“I—yeah, I’m… glad nobody died. I just…” his voice trailed off, but Portia didn’t reply. She just looked at him, waiting for him to finish his thought.

“…I wish I could have done more. Gaster was still hurt so badly, and I could barely even hold on—”

“Hey,” Portia interrupted, her voice firm but level. “Don’t. None of this was your fault, Damakos. Don’t blame yourself.”

There was… silence, for a while. Neither of the two really knew what more to say. And yet, their minds were swarming with thoughts.

Surprisingly, Damakos was the first to speak up again.

“I… if Biggs hadn’t healed you after it, I probably would’ve… ended up killing you.” He braced himself for a reaction. He was expecting shock, outrage, or horror; but what he instead got from Portia was a nod, a rueful smile, and calm acceptance.

“That’s alright. I’m just glad you acted as quick as you did.”

“Wh—I— _alright?”_ Damakos sputtered, incredulous. “I just—you’re not angry? I just said I would’ve killed you!”

“I know. But I would rather die than kill any one of you.”

The admission chilled the air with its significance. Damakos chewed his lip as his mind raced again. That was how _he_ felt.

“I—I would rather I die than anyone else here. I still wish I could’ve saved Chunky, or that it had taken me instead,” he confessed, voice trailing off into silence. “I don’t want… people getting hurt just because I couldn’t _do anything.”_

“You did everything you could,” Portia reassured, “and sometimes that’s all you can do. But you’re not expendable. Don’t treat yourself like that.”

“Hypocrite,” Damakos muttered. “If I’m not expendable, what makes it okay for you to die for our sakes?”

“It’s—" she stopped and met his eyes again with a humorless laugh. “Well. Suppose you’ve got me cornered, there. I guess the way I’d have to put it is that I don’t… I can’t be responsible for _your_ deaths.”

“And that’s how I feel about it, too. I—I would’ve killed you if it had been the only way, but I don’t want anyone to die. If it takes my life to keep everyone else alright, so be it.”

“I guess we’ve both got similar mindsets, don’t we?” Portia smiled and leaned back against the wall. “Thinking we’re expendable, but no one else is. Everyone else’s life matters, but our own don’t.”

“…Yeah. I guess we do.” Damakos’ tail flicked across the ground.

Portia eventually got up and offered him a hand to pull him to his feet. He reluctantly took it and stood up across from her.

“Well, let’s go get Biggs’ ‘ _reading glasses,’_ ” she laughed and started walking. “Wouldn’t do to keep him waiting too long.

Damakos followed behind her, still keeping some distance. Yeah. At least walking would clear his head some more.

**Author's Note:**

> idk why but this one was really hard to write?? i went through like four alternate dialogue paths before going with this one. so many words to be said


End file.
